I was unavailable, so I dance for you today.

Before you start tap dancing about how much money I owe you, or how much glue I poured onto your seat and which is now stuck to your hind thighs, I would like for you to look high up into the skies. Just for a moment. Do you see any stars? Which ones? What impact do they have on your life? If they were to fall all around, which constellation do you reckon we'd be plummeted upon by?

I have space to let. If you need any space, I have some which you may procure. It is scattered all around, but if you were to add it all up, it would be a sizable amount. You could raise a family in it. But of course you and your family could not be in the same physical space together. As I said, it is rather spread out, so you are better off adopting, for how could you change a diaper if you were never within reaching distance of your child? And how would you discipline them if swatting range was unavailable? So it is your decision to make. I rent reasonably, you shall see. I rent quite competitively compared to my peers who let space much more conveniently, but alas, the cost searches the heavens without end. I await your call.

Humbly,

Alfrabottoms Cauldronmouth III