Ubiquitous Cantaloupe!

Job Title: Executive Assistant to the Primary Regional Nose Picker

Job duties include, but are not limited to:

-Picking noses at an extremely high volume in a fast paced work environment
-Facilitating training of novice nose pickers for deployment throughout the company for the benefit of the whole.
-Arranging travel for the Primary Regional Nose Picker [PRNP] (avoiding holidays and anticipating high pollen warnings so as to minimize the detriment caused by her absence).
-Maintaining a phone log of clients
-Corresponding with International Primary (regional or not, depending on development and intelligence of the country and if their technique is up to date) Nose Pickers.
-Maintaining PRNP's passages to allow for maximum flow at all times.
-Other special projects to be assigned.

Desired Skills:
Easy recognition of leadership in the Nose Industry.
Ability to work overtime hours including hours that seem outlandish and obscene.
Ability to multi-task with changing priorities.
Proficiency with MS programs.

Basic Qualifications:
Minimum 3+ years in support of a prominent nose.

Eligibility Requirements:
Must not be allergic to anything.
Nose must be approved by physician and examined for its aesthetic and functional value.
Must love dogs.

Interested candidates must submit a resume online, with recent nose photo attached. Nose must be natural and unaltered in any way.

Thank you for your interest! May the snot land where it's not!